Tonight I caught the BART from San Francisco back to Oakland. Waiting for the train to arrive and then again when I got off, I heard the world’s stupidest public announcement. It was so weird that I took out my laptop and typed it in. Here it is, pretty much word for word:

Elevator status report: all station elevators are currently in service. All station agents please make sure your status boards reflect this information.

This was broadcast to the whole station. It reminds me of town criers of old: “It’s 9pm and all’s well.”